To do or not to do..that is your choice!

This afternoon, I was taking out my previous issues of parenting magazines from underneath my coffee table and reading them again. I chanced upon this article which I do not remember reading it before...how strange. It was an article called," Does he love the maid more?" from 2007 May issue of Family" magazine.

Now that I have a maid because of Caleb, it really caught my attention. The article read about a mom who woke up one night when her son was crying. When she went to him, he began to yell and only calmed down when her maid came into the room to hold him.

Another incident mentioned in the article was about a child who fell down but instead of running to her parents for help and comfort, she cried for the maid and ran past her parents into the open arms of the maid.

When I read the article, I was reminded of a similar incident that happened few weeks back. One night, I was woken up by Caleb's wailing. So, I went to the maid's room to check on him. His crying sounded really very miserable. So, I decided to carry him to calm him down. But when I carried him, his crying grew louder and more miserable. I used all different methods of carrying him but ended up in vain because he just kept crying louder and louder.

After running out of ideas to calm him down, my maid took over and almost immediately, he quietened down and held close to my maid. I was saddened that I was not able to do that and I have to admit, a little jealous as to why Caleb stopped crying when my maid held him.

From that time on, I told myself that I have to get more involved with my child so that he would feel more comfortable with me. Even though I stay at home and take care of him, I feel I can do more things with him and for him.

For the first 2 weeks since I had Caleb, CT and I have not even tried bathing him or even seldom change his diapers because the maid does a very good job and we are just not confident of doing so since we are first timers.

But since that incident, I told the maid that I would bathe Caleb everyday and change his diapers.

It is really easy to get stuck with the convenience of a good maid but I believe strongly that it is our duty as parents to let our kids know from young that we are there no matter what happens.

Most humans will not do something when they see that there is someone there who is already doing it and somemore, when that person is doing a good job.

Another example would be the convenience of staying with parents. I once had lunch with my colleague who is already 40 years plus of age with 2 kids. He mentioned to me proudly that his family stays with his parents because his parents do the laundry and cook for his family as his wife does not know how to cook.

When I heard that, I was rather disgusted by the fact that he has no sense of responsibility- his responsibility as the head of the family and a father. What would his kids think? They would probably think that it is ok not to know how to cook or clean up the house etc, because I can always rely on someone else to do that for me.

Given our culture/tradition, most parents would want or even pressure their kids to stay with them even after they get married so that they have company and even see their grandchildren everyday despite having to cook more or do more laundry.

But my personal opinion is that we just have to watch the line between convenience and responsibility. Even if there is such convenience out there for us, we still need to take responsiblity- to spend more time with our children, doing the basic things that all parents should do (bathe your child, change diapers, prepare food amongst other activities) and as well as set a good example for your children and..don't be lazy!